“If voting made any difference they wouldn’t let us do it.”
Mark Twain
“Fool, what do you think? That we know anything about who gives money? That we give a damn about who they are or what they want? We have no way of running down them or their stories. We don’t care. We just cash the damn cheques, count the votes, and move on.”
Clay Davis, The Wire
“Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man’s character, give him power.”
Abraham Lincoln

Politics is an art which even the youngest Kindred knows something about. From the time a neonate is introduced to society, he or she begins to learn exactly how complex and convoluted politics in the Kindred world truly is. Many Kindred find it amusing at how cut-throat mortal seems, but they themselves know how deadly real politics can be. Individuals which Kindred (and non-bloodsucking opportunistic parasites) can latch onto and use include statesmen, pollsters, activists, party leaders and even members, lobbyists, candidates, and politicians.

Consult the following page for more information on the state of politics in Louisiana.

Political Sphere	Dot Ratings
Universal	Unpaid volunteer (0), intern or junior staffer (•), established staffer (••), senior staffer (•••). Chiefs and deputy chiefs of staff to especially high-dot politicians are (politician’s dots -1 or -2).
Municipal	City councilperson (•••), council president or deputy mayor (••••), mayor (•••••). Smaller-town mayors and councilpeople rate fewer dots.
State Legislature	House representative (••), house committee chairperson or senator (•••), House speaker, Senate president (••••)
State Executive Office	Lieutenant governor, secretary of state, attorney general, treasurer, or other cabinet member (••••), governor (•••••)
National	Junior representative (•••), established representative (••••), senator or House leader (•••••), powerful senator (••••• •), Senate majority leader, House speaker (••••• ••)

Politics Influence ••••• •

National Politics

Joseph H. Kelly

Born: 1926
Family: The Kellys
Status: U.S. Senate ••••• •
The senior senator from Louisiana, Kelly was elected to his current office in 1968 and has been a fixture in national politics for generations. A “former” member of the Ku Klux Klan and strong ally of Senator Strom Thurmond before his death, Kelly has survived every challenge thrown at him at the state level with a ruthless combination of alleged voter suppression and election fraud. He claims to have renounced his racist views, but still commonly gaffes with offensive comments which he claims are cultural. He actually disdains many lower-class whites as well, particularly the less “gentlemanly” parts of the white power movement such as the Aryan Nation. Kelly’s election machine in the state is second to none, and as a result he wields vast power politically throughout. A graduate of the Citadel, he remains surprisingly spry for his age. Former Blue Dog Democrat who switched political parties following the GOP takeover in 2010.

Politics Influence •••••

National Politics

Nathaniel “Nathan” Malveaux

Born: 1957
Family: The Malveauxes
Status: U.S. Senate •••••
Nathan Malveaux is the youngest of the Malveaux brothers and the current junior senator from Louisiana. He’s known as a shrewd politician and crisp, gifted speaker who spent twenty years as a state representative and senator while concurrently serving as the state GOP’s chairman. Flipping the historically blue state red was his driving goal for years, and finally paid off in 2011 when he secured a Republican majority in both chambers (both Democratic since Reconstruction). He spent another year as the biggest fish in a small pond until he all but bullied his way to national office in 2012. His campaign was heavily financed by his family’s immense wealth and is rumored to have benefited significantly from backroom dealings in the state. He has no known vices, although there is a twenty-plus-year story of impropriety during his otherwise tame courtship of his wife. He is close to his niece Charlotte Malveaux, who also lives in D.C., but is distant from his own children thanks to his embroilment in national politics. He ran for president in the 2016 GOP primary and dropped out after New Hampshire, but most suspect he is biding his time for another run. He’s also a well-known jazz lover and frequents any concerts available in D.C., but laments his absence from New Orleans.

State Politics

William “Bill” Jay Roberts

Born: 1960
Family: The Roberts
Status: Louisiana Governor’s Office •••••
The current governor of Louisiana, Bill Jay Roberts was elected to office in 2013 on a wave of backlash against Fred Pavaghi’s corruption. Bill campaigned heavily on a platform of restoring dignity and public trust to the governorship. He is one of the last Democrats to hold statewide office in the Deep South, and the first Democrat elected to statewide office in Louisiana since the GOP takeover in 2010. Much of Bill’s strategy involved building crossover support from white rural voters, since the state’s African-American population is always in any Democrat’s pocket. Bill himself is a pro-life, pro-gun, pro-capital punishment, anti-gay marriage military veteran and former Army Ranger who enjoys recreational hunting and is proud of the fact that he’s closed down all but two abortion clinics in Louisiana, something even Fred Pavaghi was unable to do. Despite these positions, Bill’s support of the Affordable Care Act led the Malveaux attack machine to characterize him as a flaming liberal, and not without success. Before being elected to the governor’s mansion, Bill served on the Louisiana Public Service commission, and ran against Maxen Flores to represent the state senate’s District 9 in 2003, which he lost. Bill is of no relation to Christina Roberts, but it hasn’t stopped his opponents from implying that he is. He owns a home in Audubon Place but currently lives at the governor’s mansion in Baton Rouge.

Local Politics

Martin Borges

Born: 1958
Family: The Borges
Status: Mayor •••••
The current mayor of New Orleans, Martin Borges is thoroughly a man of the system and casually corrupt in that relaxed way only Louisiana politicians can be. His administration has largely been defined by continuance of the status quo without any particular reforms, executive actions, or legislative accomplishments of note—besides lining the pockets of the city’s business community, assorted special interests, and the Borges family. Martin himself is a man of considerable sexual appetites with a penchant for “slumming it.” He’s not even sure how many children he’s fathered outside of those with his three wives.

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Wayne-Dwyane Duvall Boggs

Born: 1966
Family: The Boggs
Status: Mayor •••••
Slidell’s five-term mayor and political boss of St. Tammany Parish who also happens to be a cannibalistic gourmand and child molester. He’s turned the parish into his personal fiefdom and wields a grotesque degree of power over virtually every aspect of its civic government.

Non-Officials

Sebastian Ortega

Born: Unknown
A retired expatriate from Chile, gossip says Ortega was a high-ranking military officer in the Pinochet regime who was responsible for the kidnappings, tortures, and murders of hundreds of political dissidents. After Pinochet lost power, Ortega embezzled millions and fled the country. That’s what gossip says, anyway. Ortega is from Chile, but hasn’t confirmed anything else about his past. What is known is that he sits on a number of corporate boards and maintains close ties to many of the city’s movers and shakers—who also know his deep pockets. Ortega’s exact net worth remains unknown, but he donates generously to a variety of political and religious causes. Every mayor since he moved to New Orleans has accepted his campaign contributions, kissed his ring, and consulted him on a variety of civic and economic issues. For all his influence, however, Ortega is an intensely private man who shuns public appearances and does not give speeches or grant interviews. Many reporters have no idea what he even looks like.

Politics Influence ••••

National Politics

Caleb Gallagher

Born: 1944
Family: The Gallaghers
Status: U.S. Senate ••••
The chief of staff for Senator Nathaniel Malveaux, Caleb is an old breed of Southern snake, a cottonmouth with a terrible temper and a vicious bite. While Malveaux is charming, Caleb is terrifying, the stick to his boss’ carrot. He’s a mean old man who walks with a cane and has strict Southern values that include closeted (and sometimes less than closeted) bigotry. Caleb has been with Nathaniel for more than twenty years, and before that served his uncle, Senator Carter Malveaux, in a similar capacity prior to the senator’s untimely death in a plane crash. He likely knows more about where the bodies are buried in Louisiana politics than any man still alive. He prefers to communicate face-to-face, and hates email and text conversations, which he considers impersonal and rude. He rarely even uses the phone, and considers it a favor when he does.

Robert “Bob” Kelly

Born: 1965
Family: The Kellys
Status: U.S. House of Representatives ••••
Congressional representative for Louisiana’s 6th district, which includes Baton Rouge and the westernmost shores of Lake Pontchartrain. Everything has always gone Bob Kelly’s way. Born the younger son of Senator Joseph H. Kelly, he’s notable for being one of the few congresspeople not to hold a degree: he tried college for several years (at three different colleges) and found it “just wasn’t for me.” His father hooked him up with a job as a legislative aide, and promotions at Senator Kelly’s congressional office steadily followed before he met his wife Rosalyn, a niece of billionaire John Dyer. With her uncle’s financial backing, and his father’s name recognition and election machine, Bob cruised to an easy victory. He’s cruised to an easier one every year since and will have his seat for as long as he likes in the R+17 district. Although the Kelly family is old money, Joseph clinging on to life into his 90s means Bob hadn’t been able to inherit wealth. He spent his youth as a man of only moderate affluence—until he married into the Dyers. He owes most of his present $100+ million net worth to his wife and seemingly loves her money at least as much as her. Regular international flights on a private jet, extravagant dinners at Michelin star D.C. restaurants, multiple luxury homes, and more are all fixtures of his lavish lifestyle. Tabloids say the only reason escorts aren’t on that list too is the prenuptial agreement he signed with his wife. Father to three children by her, none of whom he’s raised in his congressional district.

Samson Buhl

Born: 1928
Status: U.S. House of Representatives ••••
The U.S. representative for Louisiana’s 1st Congressional District, Samson would represent New Orleans in Congress if his district (intended to encompass southeast Louisiana) hadn’t been gerrymandered to exclude the overwhelmingly Democratic city. Samson himself is a major warhawk who’s variously served (depending on the party in power) as chair or ranking minority member on the House Committee on Foreign Affairs. Prior to his congressional service, he served active duty in WWII (his mother forged his age so he could join while only 16), Vietnam, and during his high water mark in the Army, as a commanding tank officer during Desert Storm. He’s not shy in his language and has some irascible attitudes towards feminism and identity politics. Some of those remarks and voting history prompted a “crybaby glass-chin feminazi queer mulatto with a bleeding liberal, tax-wasting degree in philosophy and gender studies” to try and assassinate him. He survived the shooting but is now a paraplegic. The scandal and aftermath ironically galvanized his supporters and made him more popular with his rural base than ever. He’s good friends with Senator Joseph Kelly, the latter of whom once famously used “Uncle Sam’s” recipes during a filibuster. All of Samson’s children joined the military, and all of them died in combat. His core campaign supporter is Textron, an arms company headquartered in Slidell, and Cadillac Gage before them. He also relies on Mayor Wayne-Dwayne Duvall Boggs’ political machine to keep down any serious primary challengers on his right flank—as a Democratic contender is laughable in the R+22 district.

Vincent Lancaster

Born: 1971
Family: The Lancasters
Status: U.S. House of Representatives ••••
Congressional representative for Louisiana’s 2nd district, which includes New Orleans and Baton Rouge. An easygoing and somewhat lazy man by temperament, Vincent once harbored ambitions of running for mayor, but has proven much happier cruising to an easy re-election every two years in his bluer than blue D+25 district. Currently the sole Democrat in Louisiana’s congressional delegation, and likely to remain such.

State Politics

Edward Kelly

Born: 1957
Family: The Kellys
Status: Louisiana Secretary of State ••••
Louisiana’s secretary of state and eldest son of Joseph H. Kelly, Edward considers himself somewhat old to be where he now is. He’s long harbored ambitions of becoming senator or governor, but the stars have never quite seemed to align; he lost a primary bid for the latter office some years back, Nathaniel Malveaux scooped up the open Senate seat in 2012, and his father shows no signs of slowing down with age or planning to retire. At this point, he’s thought to be waiting (with increasing impatience) for the old man to hurry up and die. Like his father, he’s a former conservative Democrat who switched political parties following the GOP wave election in 2010. Worked as a lobbyist, state senator, and member of the Louisiana Public Service Commission before being elected to his current office.

Maxen Flores

Born: 1972
Family: The Flores
Status: Louisiana State Senate ••••
Majority leader for the state senate in Baton Rouge since 2012, and successor in that office to Nathaniel Malveaux following the now-national senator’s election. Maxen doesn’t believe in doing anything by half-measures: when his hairline started to recede, he simply shaved his pate bald. He’s known for his “tough guy” image and being a devout CrossFit enthusiast and college star quarterback who turned down a chance to play professionally for the NFL, though he remains a diehard football fan and rarely misses a game. He’s also known for his vicious temper and dislike of his counterpart Noelle Cherry, who he’s made public remarks about that were widely seen as misogynistic. Outside of his duties as majority leader, he represents Senate District 9, which includes Riverbend and the suburb of Metairie. Maxen personally lives in Audubon Place and spends much of his time in Baton Rouge, but regularly commutes back to New Orleans. Ex-husband of Diana Flores and father of five children by her.

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Noelle Cherry

Born: 1959
Family: The Cherrys
Status: Louisiana State Senate ••••
Democratic state senator for Senate District 4, Senate minority leader, and former Tulane professor who ran a strong campaign against Nathaniel Malveaux in 2012 for national office but was ultimately beaten out by prevailing political winds, Malveaux money and influence, and a last-minute scandal involving her daughter Hillary’s medical records being leaked to unsavory news outlets. Prided herself during the campaign, right up until her daughter’s privacy was so grievously violated, on running a relatively principled campaign. Now deeply regrets doing so and is still nursing a bitter grudge over both the election results, events surrounding it, and the harm done to her daughter, holding the Malveauxes responsible. Well-off but not wealthy, she rubs elbows with the upper class mostly as it relates to the donor class, and is frequently found in high society functions trawling for donations for her next campaign on the state level, and eventually on the national level. Works at the statehouse in Baton Rouge, but typically returns to New Orleans during the weekend and on holiday recesses.

Local Politics

Thalia Ocampo

Born: 1974
Status: City Council ••••
President of New Orleans City Council and the representative for District C (which includes the French Quarter). A decade-plus news anchor at RED Network before her foray into politics, Thalia is wise to the media’s dirtiest tricks and is seemingly never caught with her pants down by the press: her every public interaction is carefully staged and scripted, although her lack of authenticity is one of the most recurrent voter complaints about her. Notable for her good looks, which she’s maintained well into her 40s, she can easily pass for a decade younger. Behind closed doors, she has a short temper and has cycled through large numbers of staff. She’s also been married three times and divorced twice. One of her exes claims it was “living hell” to be married to her. Related on her mother’s side to the Suarezes, a Houston-based family with ties to Mexican drug cartels, she’s faced allegations (all of which she’s denied) of taking drug money from them. Friends with Rosalyn Kelly._

Politics Influence •••

State Politics

Fred Pavaghi

Born: 1973
Family: The Pavaghis
One-term ex-governor of Louisiana from 2009 through 2013, infamous for the blatancy of his corruption even by the Pelican State’s (low) standards.

Jim Jameson

Born: 1933
Family: The Jamesons
Colorful and womanizing former governor famous for his sexual escapades and publicity-seeking antics.

Vernon Coxx

Born: 1966
Status: Louisiana State Senate •••
Chief of staff for Noelle Cherry who deposed her former longtime aid in 2012 after she lost to Nathaniel Malveaux. Brought in by the national party after her loss and insisted upon as a condition for further support, Vernon emerged from more than twenty years of Chicago politics and is as cutthroat as they come politically. Over the last three years he’s worked diligently not only to promote Noelle’s public image, but especially to undermine the Malveaux family, in particular taking advantage of Westley Malveaux’s indiscreet troubles with drugs, alcohol, and escorts. Runs a political network that is only continuing to ramp up as the 2016 election looms, but prefers to work off-screen. Despises the heat in the South, and in truth much of the South as a whole, as he views most Southerners as inbred hicks. Not afraid of using violence to further his aims, with ties to the New Black Panther Party, Nation of Islam, and various other extremist groups.

Local Politics

Lucile “Buttermouth” Delahoussaye

Born: 1941
Family: The Boggs
Status: Parish President •••
Elderly wife of St. Tammany Parish president of Réginald A. Delahoussaye whose sociopolitical influence has only grown since her husband’s “accident” that left his larynx damaged. Despite her husband’s iconic use of a respirator, Lucile smokes constantly, claiming she now has to smoke “fer right two of us.” Despite her age, “Buttermouth” is still known as one of the parish’s best “bone smokers,” and regularly gives lessons to the Camarilla Debutantes. Her other hobbies include enticing local “negroid” children to shoot each other with high-pressure BB guns, with the winning prize going to the kid who makes all the others “cry uncle.”

Réginald A. Delahoussaye

Born: 1934
Family: The Boggs
Status: Parish President •••
A toothless, larynx-maimed octogenarian who currently serves as both the mayor of Pearl River and the president of St. Tammany Parish. The local son of Cajun logger and Prohibition booze-smuggler, Oscar joined the Air Force, where he served as a bomber pilot in Korea and Vietnam before retiring and becoming a somewhat successful oil man. He also worked as a narcotic smuggler, both before and after his political career. Long-time husband to Lucile “Buttermouth” Delahoussaye who serves as his always willing, but only partially faithful, translator.

Saffron Meadows (née Crawford)

Born: 1979
Family: The Crawfords
Status: City Council •••
City councilwoman holding one of the at-large seats. Strong ties to police and fire unions and has pushed hard in investigating claims that departments are mismanaging funds at the highest level. Lifelong Democrat and mother of three born and raised in New Orleans who likes to brag she’s never left the city limits once in her life.

Non-Officials

Jill d’Agostino

Born: 1971
Status: Auburn Political Partners •••
Owner of Auburn Political Partners, a political consulting company originally based in Baton Rouge. Jill relocated to New Orleans after Hurricane Katrina, scenting opportunity amidst the disaster: partisan control and representation of the Big Easy wasn’t likely to change, but the hurricane would have countless political repercussions. Jill’s bet paid off and Auburn hasn’t lacked for clients since. She isn’t thought to have many scruples: Louisiana politics are dirty enough that she’d starve for clients if she was picky about who she took on. She’s good at keeping Auburn itself out of any overtly illegal practices, as prosecutors have yet to make any noise about the firm. Long-time friend of Christina Roberts, who moved to the city around the same time as her.

Shepard Mello

Born: 1973
Status: City Politics •••
Former assistant to Ray Nagin, Mello abandoned the floundering mayor just before rumors of corruption began to swirl, and in so doing saved his own political fortunes. Shepard doesn’t actually hold office or serve on a staff, but he’s been a part of city politics for the better part of twenty years, first interning right out of college, and knows more about local politics than anyone, including who to speak to about various issues, who can be bribed, and what all the shifting political alliances are. Facilitator of political action in the city quietly responsible for making contacts. Frequents the Corner Club, where he likes to do “business.” Known to expect payment for his services.

Politics Influence ••

National Politics

Charlotte Malveaux

Born: 1992
Family: The Malveauxes
Status: Conservatives for Energy Awareness ••
Graduate of Penn State who majored in political science now living in Washington D.C. and working with the Conservatives for Energy Awareness, a non-profit that works to educate people, especially college students, on the natural resources available within the United States to reduce dependence on foreign oil and create jobs. Former congressional intern to Senator Joseph H. Kelly, Charlotte is charming, outgoing, and socially active in DC, attending most of the major party events (often with a ticket courtesy of her uncle Nathaniel) and doing the social rounds at local charity events. Positive relationships with her uncle Matthew, with Senator Kelly, and with many other political figures in Washington. Draws heavily on the Malveaux wealth for the nonprofit. High school and collegiate athlete who was on the 2013 and 2014 National Championship winning Division I volleyball teams at Penn State. Attractive without being truly beautiful like both of her older sisters, she makes up for it with athleticism and height—standing close to 6’0".

State Politics

Cassidy Borges

Born: 1989
Family: The Borges
Status: Law firm ••, Louisiana House of Representatives ••
When Cassidy was in high school, she said her life plan was Oxford College, Yale Law, and eventually president of the United States—the first black and female one. A decade later, she “merely” serves on the Louisiana House of Representatives while also working as an attorney. Still, she’s ambitious, and plans to eventually run for mayor—with the backing of her father Martin, the current mayor. She’s widely thought to be his favorite child and is a frequent sight by his side in public. She’s also one of his illegitimate children and comes on her mother’s side from a family of Vodouisants who claim to trace their heritage all the way back to slaves in Haiti. She’s never said that she believes in the faith, but she’s been known to threaten to curse people who annoy her.

Local Politics

Homer-Berle “Honey Badger” Boggs

Born: 1983
Family: The Boggs
Status: City Council ••
Junior city council member of Slidell and everyman’s redneck whose most salient qualifications include catching the second-biggest blue catfish on record in 2011 and playing as a Rebs’ defensive linebacker, helping the team reach the Division I state finals his senior year. Currently lives with his uncle-cousin and ‘common law’ husband, Homer-Merle, who is also the Honey Badger’s informal campaign manager (which involves making crude viral videos and handing out beer at social gatherings). The pair run a financially precarious combined bait shop and karaoke bar, complete with singing giant catfish, along the Bayou Bonfouca with Homer-Merle’s aunt and ex-wife, Jeane-Jeane. Homer-Berle is the adult son of the deceased Garth-Bob and Vicky-Mae, whose most notable surviving sibling (as two died from eating rancid food following Katrina) is likely Buffy-Sue.

Non-Officials

Bill Weeper Lewis

Born: 1941
Family: The Lewises
Retired attorney, popular speaker in the tax protester movement, and longtime promoter of of various tax protesting schemes. Bill claims that there is no law that makes individuals liable for income tax, and has been trying since 2006 to get out of paying his taxes. He also runs a Time Cube-esque website called The No-Lies Zone that outlines a variety of disproved and rejected theories for the illegality of the federal income tax, as well as assorted conspiracy theories and, in the words of one of his detractors, “bizarre pictures of dragons, Abraham Lincoln, and huge amounts of CAPSLOCK.”

Shawnte Irving

Born: 1976
Family: The Irvings
Life-time resident of the Lower 9th who previously played for the New Orleans Zephyrs, the local Triple-A baseball team. After Katrina, he resigned when the team played the very next season while their city was still in shambles. Afterwards, he became a local political figure known for his advocacy of reconstruction, racial integration, and institutional change. In 2007, he helped organize several thousand NOLA residents to march through the city streets and gather at City Hall for a rally demanding police and city leaders tackle the city’s rampant crime. He obtained significant grassroots support when he ran for city council in 2008 and 2010, but lost both times by a narrow margin. He ran again in 2012, and seemed poised for victory until he was arrested for beating his wife’s alleged lover with a baseball bat. Rumor has it that the DA dropped Shawunte’s charges—but only after he promised to suspend his campaign and never run again. Currently runs a soup kitchen in the 9th and runs summer baseball camps for urban youth. Despite their marital scandal, Shawnte remains married to his high-school sweetheart, Rhonda, and the pair have two sons: Trayvon and Shawnte, Jr.

Tyrone Johnson

Born: 1986
Status: Black Lives Matter ••
Won a multi-million-dollar verdict against the city five years ago for police brutality, but between attorney’s fees and the city dragging out payment, has struggled financially ever since. Well known in low-income African-American communities for his case, which involved an unjustified police shooting into a car full of black males that left his two older brothers dead. He remains politically active in the city protesting against the NOPD as a local leader of the Black Lives Matter movement. Also notorious for allegedly having more than fifteen children with twelve different women.

Politics Influence •

Local Politics

Emily Mandel

Born: 1993
Status: City Hall •
Emily is not a New Orleans native, but supposedly hails from Baltimore, Maryland. Or, as Milo Glass suspects: Fort Meade. A (seemingly) archetypical nice Jewish girl in her early twenties, “Emily” got her bachelor’s in Political Science at Tulane and apparently decided to stay for the “culture”(?!?!). She started seduc—dating Zeke about eighteen months ago, allegedly because of his “adorable quirkiness.” She currently interns at city hall, supposedly as part of her longtime quest to work in politics. Notably more religious than her fiancée, which his parents approve of. Milo knows it’s paranoid, even for him, to suspect his friend’s lover of being a government plant. That said, it’s only paranoia if he doesn’t end up doing life in federal prison. Milo’s not taking chances.

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Valeria Garcia

Born: 1990
Status: City Hall •
Family: The Garcias
Executive assistant to city councilwoman Thalia Ocampo, Valeria is a semi-recent college graduate who’s also attending law school and hopes to go into politics herself someday as a policymaker. Her Colombian immigrant parents couldn’t be prouder. Sister to Natalia Garcia. Often remarked upon for her good looks, and not above using them to advance her career.

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Vernadette Rowe

Born: 1960
Status: Mayor’s Office •
Executive assistant of Mandeville’s Mayor Ellis Darbonne since 2014. Daughter of Fannie-Belle Rowe, whose vastly more decorated municipal service ended with a stroke and multiple psychiatric institutionalizations. Vernadette has since been forced to care for her now invalid mother.