Andrew Phillips

Rat-like Internet troll


“I saw Arzilla the other night when I went to visit Sundown. Are Andy and her still a thing?”
“I think that was just a rumor, Rocco. Blown out of proportion from the hazing they put him through. No one wants to be intimate with a sewer rat.”
“Thank you for easing a poor sire’s mind. I hope they’re only rumors.”

Rocco Agnello to Coco Duquette

“I can’t judge Andy too harshly, though. I think my expectations were simply too high when I Embraced him. He’s certainly doing better than Dahlia-Fleur.”
Rocco Agnello

“El-Oh-El. Fuckin’ noob.”
—Andrew Philips


Andrew Philips is an overweight man—though most people would first describe him as a boy—of below average height and well above average girth. In public, he invariably wears a dark sweatshirt with its hoodie drawn all the way up to hide his face. Exceptionally deformed for a Gangrel, he looks more rat than human and rivals any Nosferatu for hideousness.

He smells as appealing as he looks.




Andy Philips was nothing special, though he always thought he was. Born to a middle-class family, he was bright enough for teachers to praise but not hard-working enough to make anything of himself. He wanted to be a computer programmer, but lacked the patience to learn how to code. Playing video games was easier. Gaming was easier than getting good grades, too, just like eating poorly was easier than exercising and eating well. Regurgitating conspiracy theories was also easier than studying issues. Watching porn was easier than talking to girls. Whatever life put in his path, Andy Philips took the easy way out.

By the time he was 20, Andy was a slovenly, overweight, socially maladjusted young man at Delgado Community College with poor grades, no major, mounting student debt, and only the vaguest of plans for what he wanted to do with his life. Even the private tutor his parents hired to teach him coding thought he was hopeless: Andy seemed more interested in hacking the webcams of girls he found attractive than learning Python, and more interested in wheedling his tutor to hack their cams than doing so himself.


Andy knew just enough about computers, though, to fool someone who knew even less than he did.

After Hurricane Katrina, Prince Vidal granted Rocco Agnello permission to Embrace a new childe. Everyone said technology was transforming the world and Rocco wanted to get in on the action. Andrew Philips seemed like the perfect choice of childe: he spent all of his time on computers, seemed knowledgeable about them when Rocco (who could barely move a mouse) talked to him, and had no apparent attachments to any friends or family. In traditional Sanctified custom, Rocco offered his would-be progeny the choice of death or the Embrace.

Once again, Andy took the easy way out.


The truth of Andy’s “skills” soon become apparent, and with it, his usefulness to Rocco. Andy’s present Requiem is now much the same as his mortal life. He spends most of his time playing video games, watching pornography, trolling people online, and circulating conspiracy theories, all without having to worry about grades and money anymore (his two ghouls take care of the latter). He’s fallen in with the Nosferatu despite his lack of tech skills and belongs to a krewe of Anarchs, the Twenty-Twenties, with two sewer rat members he’s grown close to. Some of the more lurid rumors floating around Elysium claim he’s taken one of them, Arzilla Bouon, as his lover. He remains on amicable enough terms with Rocco, but his sire is still disappointed that Andy is in no way, shape, or form the technological mastermind he originally believed.

Andy, for his part, is used to disappointing expectations.


• 8. Unknown sire
 • 9. Caitlin Meadows (e. mid 19th century)
  • 10. Rocco Agnello (e. late 19th century)
   • 11. Dahlia-Fleur Guidry (e. mid 20th century)
   • 11. Andrew Philips (e. late 20th century)
 • 10. June (e. late 20th century)
 • 10. Cleo (e. late 20th century)


Andrew is childe of to Rocco Agnello, a respected hound under Sheriff Donovan. Rocco is the childe of Caitlin Meadows, New Orleans’ former scourge and one of the most feared vampires in the city. In recent months she appears to have gone rogue. Meadows has never spoken of her sire. Gangrel are notoriously poor at tracking their lineages due to the clan’s habit of abandoning recently-Embraced childer, and Meadows herself may well be ignorant who granted her the Embrace.


Andrew’s elder broodmate Dahlia-Fleur Guidry was an unfaithful pastor’s wife Embraced by Rocco against her will. She responded by joining the Circle of the Crone and is an equally great disappointment to their sire in her own way.

Andrew Phillips

Blood and Bourbon Calder_R z_dude_here